Let’s be real. Doula work is full of beautiful moments—and also full of awkward, tricky, what-do-I-do-now? situations. The kind that make you question your scripts, your business boundaries, and maybe even your sanity.

These little messes? I call them doula pickles.

I’ve been in every single one of these at some point. And over time, I’ve picked up a few tips to make them less painful—or avoid them altogether. Let’s get you out of the jar.

1. Turning Down a Client Who Isn’t a Good Fit

The pickle: They seem sweet, but your gut says nope.

The tip: Keep a referral list handy. Practice saying, “I don’t think I’m the best fit for what you’re looking for, but I’d love to connect you with someone who might be.” It helps you stay in integrity without overcommitting.

2. Getting Ghosted After a Great Interview

The pickle: You thought it was a match made in doula heaven… and then silence.

The tip: At the end of the consult, say, “If I don’t hear from you, I’ll follow up by [day] just to check in.” That way, you feel empowered instead of in limbo. See also: 3 Doula Interview Mistakes

3. The Never-Ending DMs That Go Nowhere

The pickle: You’re stuck in a chat loop with someone who might want to hire you. Someday. Maybe.

The tip: Gently nudge them toward action: “I’d love to support you more—here’s my consult link so we can talk details.” Clear path = clear results.

4. The Client Who Wants a Discount

The pickle: “We’re on a tight budget—can you lower your rate?”

The tip: Know your script before you’re in the moment. Try, “While I don’t offer discounts, I do have payment plans, and I’m happy to refer you to lower-cost options.” Confidence + compassion = balance.

5. Saying Yes… Then Instantly Regretting It

The pickle: You agreed to something (a client, collab, committee) and now your whole body is screaming why did I say yes?!

The tip: Give yourself time before saying yes. Use, “Can I check my calendar and get back to you tomorrow?” to create breathing room. You don’t owe an instant answer.

6. You Keep Getting Inquiries… That Don’t Book

The pickle: Your inbox is active, but no one’s signing contracts.

The tip: Look at your follow-up process. Are you giving clear next steps? A simple shift like, “Here’s how to book your spot” can make a big difference.

7. That One Provider Who Always Undermines You

The pickle: You walk into the birth room and see that provider. You already know it’s going to be a push.

The tip: You can’t change their behavior, but you can prep your clients. Help them role-play questions and rehearse how to speak up. Advocacy starts prenatally.

8. Clients Expecting You to Be On Call From Week 10

The pickle: You’re getting late-night texts about morning sickness at 11 weeks.

The tip: Set expectations early: “I’m always here for urgent needs, but most questions will be covered in our prenatal meetings.” Boundaries = sustainability.

9. Comparing Yourself to Other Doulas

The pickle: Their Instagram. Their client list. Their perfect vibe. Ugh.

The tip: Instead of spiraling, track your own progress monthly. What have you learned? What have you done that you’re proud of? Your path deserves celebration, too.

If you’re in one of these pickles—you’re not alone. Every doula I know has had a moment (or ten) where they wish they could hit “undo.”

But every pickle is an opportunity to tighten up your systems, set better boundaries, and show up with more clarity next time.

Want to share your own doula pickle? Click here and tell me what situation you’d add to the list. I might include it in a future post!