How to Do Your First Doula Consultation Without Fumbling the Ball
Two women sit in chairs and talk as one points to a book.

Quick Takeaways:

    • Your first consult isn’t a test. It’s a conversation built on trust.

    • Clients hire doulas who help them feel safe, not those who talk the most.

    • A flexible structure = confidence booster + credibility builder.

    • Listening well is more powerful than “sounding smart.”

    • You don’t need to fake it, just bring your presence and ask good questions.

Your First Consult Isn’t a Test – It’s a Vibe Check

Nervous about your first (or fifth) consultation? Deep breath. You’re not alone and you’re not supposed to have every answer memorized.

Here’s the truth: most clients don’t hire the doula with the best talking points.
They hire the one who made them feel safe.

This isn’t a pitch.
It’s a preview.
Of what it feels like to be supported by you.

Robotic Q&A vs Real Connection

If you’ve ever walked away from a convo thinking,
“Did I say too much? Not enough?”
You’re not bad at consults, you’re probably stuck overthinking.

Let’s fix that.

What doesn’t work:
❌ “What’s your due date? Do you have a provider? Have you taken a childbirth class?”
(Feels like an intake form, not a connection.)

What does work:
✅ “What’s your pregnancy been like so far?”
✅ “What kind of support are you hoping to have during your birth?”
✅ “What led you to explore working with a doula?”

These open-ended questions create breathing room.
Breathing room builds trust.

Use This Simple Consultation Flow

You don’t need a script, you need a structure.
Something flexible enough to stay human, clear enough to feel grounded.

1. Start with Warmth

    • Thank them for reaching out.

    • Let them know this is a space to ask questions, not commit on the spot.

    • Ask: “What made you want to connect with a doula now?”

2. Get Curious (and Listen Well)

Let them talk first. Prompt with:

    • “What are you hoping your birth experience will feel like?”

    • “Have you thought about what kind of support you’d like in labor?”

    • “How has your care with your provider been so far?”

Your job here isn’t to solve anything. Just to get them seen.

3. Share How You Work

Explain what it’s like to have you in their corner. Keep it real:

    • “Typically, I meet with clients twice before the birth, am on-call from X weeks, and support the full labor and early postpartum.”

    • “I’m early in my practice, so I also have a backup in place to make sure you’re always supported.”

Confidence lives in clarity.

4. Talk About What Happens Next

Map out next steps clearly and calmly:

    • “If you’d like to move forward, I’ll send over a contract and deposit form.”

    • “Take a day or two to think about it, if questions come up, I’m happy to chat.”

Cheat Phrases for Nervous Moments

Mid-call brain fog? Been there. Say this:

    • “That’s a great question, let me think about that and follow up with a clear answer.”

    • “Some families do it this way, others prefer that. I’d love to hear what feels right for you.”

    • “You don’t have to decide anything today, we can take our time.”

Remember: clarity > cleverness.
Presence > perfection.

What If They Don’t Book You?

Spoiler alert: not every consult ends with a yes. That’s not failure, it’s normal.

What you can control?
How you show up.

    • Respectful

    • Confident (even if your palms are sweaty)

    • Clear about your process and role

    • Open to their needs

If they walk away feeling heard, you’ve already succeeded.

And each consult teaches you something. Let it.

Connection Beats Perfection

No one’s hiring you for perfect answers.
They’re hiring you for how you make them feel.

So drop the pressure.
Stop “selling.”

Start showing what it’s like to be supported by you.

Your job?
Make them feel safe, seen, and genuinely cared for.

That’s what they’ll remember.
That’s what gets booked.

Want a Step-by-Step Interview Guide?

I’ve got you. Grab the Master the Doula Interview crash course, designed to help you show up calm, clear, and ready to connect.

👉 Master the Doula Interview

More
articles

5 Common Mistakes Doulas Make at Baby Fairs

Learn how to ace your next baby fair as a doula with these essential tips! Avoid common mistakes, set clear goals, engage effectively, and choose the perfect giveaways to stand out. From preparation to engagement strategies, this guide has you covered. Get ready to shine at your next baby fair and attract potential clients like never before!

Read More »
Doula presses on a birther's hips during a water labor.

Your Doula Business: Exploring the LLC for Doulas

You have chosen an incredible path of supporting families during one of life’s most profound journeys. And now, you might be contemplating the next step for your business—forming a Limited Liability Company (LLC). The thought of doing so can seem daunting, but don’t worry! As an experienced doula business advisor, I am here to help demystify the process and provide general, non-legal advice on setting up an LLC.

Read More »
Scroll to Top