Your Worth Isn’t in Your Words

Quick Truth Bombs for Doulas:

 

• • You don’t need to know everything to make an impact

• • Clients remember how you made them feel, not what you said

• • Silence isn’t incompetence — it’s a support strategy

• • You’re not being paid to teach. You’re being trusted to guide

• • Quiet confidence builds more trust than info-dumping ever could

Let’s Set This Straight:

Being a doula isn’t about having the perfect script.
It’s not about saying all the “right” things.

But if you’ve ever walked out of a prenatal visit thinking:
“I should’ve said more…”

Or if your heart races when a client asks a question you can’t recite from a textbook – You’re not broken. You’re human.

That panic? That pressure?
That’s imposter syndrome whispering lies. And it’s time to shut it down.

The Fear That Creeps Into the Gaps

We’re trained to believe silence is awkward.
That if we’re not speaking, we’re not helping.

So we try to fill the space –
With facts.
With affirmations.
With wisdom we think we should have.

But let’s reframe this:
Being a doula isn’t about performing. It’s about presence.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do…
is hold a hand, breathe in sync, stay grounded when things feel shaky.

You’re Not a Textbook – You’re a Lighthouse

Your job isn’t to be a walking research paper.
It’s to witness.
To steady.
To guide.

Your clients don’t need perfect answers.
They need someone who doesn’t flinch when the unknown shows up.

“Quiet Confidence > Perfect Answers”

So what do you say when you don’t know?

Here’s how to lead without pretending:

 

• • “That’s a great question — let’s look it up together after this call.”

• • “I don’t know off the top of my head, but I know where to find solid info.”

• • “What’s your gut telling you? Let’s start there.”

That’s not deflecting.
That’s leading with honesty.

And trust me , your clients feel that.

Redefine Your Value

If you’re always trying to prove your worth in the birth room, pause and ask:
“What does being valuable mean to me and where did I learn that?”

Because your value doesn’t live in explanations.
It lives in your presence.
In your energy.
In your ability to stay calm while the world tilts sideways.

You’re Already Enough

If you’ve ever sat in complete silence beside someone in labor and felt the weight of that moment –
You already know this:

Being witnessed is healing.

So stop second-guessing your stillness.
Stop discounting your calm.

You’re not “just” being quiet.
You’re being exactly what they need.

Want to Go Deeper?

Journal Prompt:
What does ‘being valuable’ mean to me as a doula and where did that belief come from?

Or share with me:
Have you ever had a moment where just being present, without saying a word, changed everything? I’d love to hear it.