What You’ll Learn in This Post:
- What to say during the interview to set expectations
- How to follow up with confidence and professionalism
- What to do when you don’t want to work with them
- How to track consults and look for hiring patterns
- A mindset shift that helps you stop taking ghosting personally
You finished the interview.
You clicked instantly.
You answered their questions.
You walked out thinking, “That went great.”
And then… silence.
No reply. No update. No booking. Just you refreshing your inbox, wondering what happened.
Let’s be honest—getting ghosted by a potential client doesn’t feel good.
But the truth is, most doulas don’t have a follow-up system. They wing it. And that’s where things get fuzzy, fast.
Let’s fix that.
Start Strong Before the Interview Ends
Want fewer ghost stories? Set expectations before the interview ends.
Here’s what I recommend you say:
“After this meeting, I’ll send you a follow-up email. It’ll include a recap of what we discussed and what the next steps are—whether that’s a contract, payment link, or additional resources.”
Assume the hire, but keep it professional. You’re not locking them in. You’re guiding them toward a decision.
And if you’re not a fit? You can still follow up with kindness and clarity. More on that in a second.
But either way, always let them know what to expect after the conversation. It sets you apart and keeps you in control of your process.
The Day-After Follow-Up Email
Don’t wait around hoping they’ll email you. You follow up. Every time.
Here’s what that email might include:
- A warm thank-you
- A recap of what you discussed
- A link to your contract or how to move forward
- A reminder that spots aren’t held until a contract is signed
Example:
“It was so great to meet you yesterday. I really enjoyed our conversation and would love to support your birth. If you’d like to move forward, the next step is reviewing and signing the contract here [insert link]. I want to be transparent that I don’t hold spots without a signed agreement, so whoever completes that step first secures the spot.”
This isn’t pressure. It’s leadership. And it works.
When You Don’t Want the Job
Sometimes you know it’s not a good fit. That doesn’t mean you disappear.
Send a gracious message like:
“Thank you again for taking the time to meet. It’s important to interview a few doulas to find the best fit for your family. I’ve included a few colleagues here in case you’d like to continue your search. Wishing you a supported and empowering birth.”
You’re closing the loop and offering support. That leaves a good impression—and keeps you in integrity.
Follow Up Once More (And Then Let It Go)
About a week later, send a quick final message if you haven’t heard back.
“Just wanted to check in in case you’re still considering support. I have a few inquiries for that time frame, and wanted to make sure you had the chance to move forward if you’d like. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions.”
No pressure. No chasing. Just clarity.
And yes, make it clear you’re not “holding” a spot unless a contract is signed.
Track What’s Working (And What’s Not)
Want to feel less uncertain about consults? Start tracking the data.
- Did they hire you?
- Did they respond at all?
- Where did they come from?
- Was it a Zoom consult or in person?
- Were there common questions or concerns?
You might start to notice patterns, like:
- You’re hired more often from midwife referrals than general search engines
- In-person interviews lead to higher conversions than phone consults
- People who ask about discounts rarely book
That info helps you spend more time where you’re more likely to connect.
You don’t need fancy software either. I use a free Airtable setup to track consults and outcomes, but even a simple spreadsheet or notebook will do.
Don’t Take Ghosting Personally (Really)
Here’s the mindset shift that changes everything:
Think about a time you didn’t follow up with someone you talked to about a service, maybe a landscaper, photographer, or web designer. You didn’t hate them. You didn’t ghost them maliciously. You just… moved on.
Sometimes the store just doesn’t have what you need. Doesn’t mean it’s a bad store. Just not the one for you right now.
Same goes for you.
Someone not hiring you doesn’t mean you failed. It means they didn’t choose your service, and that’s okay.
Final Thought: Lead with Leadership
When you follow up confidently, you’re not “chasing” clients.
You’re showing them what it looks like to work with someone who’s organized, thoughtful, and proactive.
Even if they don’t hire you, they remember how you made them feel.
And the right clients?
They won’t ghost. They’ll click that contract link and say, “Yes, please.”
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