What You’ll Learn in This Post:

• How to live your life while on call without guilt or burnout
• The boundaries you must set to protect your energy
• What to say to clients about being on call (script included)
• How to plan rest and time off with confidence
• Why your backup doula is your best professional asset
• A personal story (and a lesson) you’ll never forget

Living While On Call: Yes, It’s Possible

One of the biggest skills you develop as a doula isn’t charting or comfort measures. It’s learning how to live your life while on call.

Not just wait.
Not just “survive the window.”
Actually live.

Because here’s what happens when you don’t:
You end up like I did, missing your daughter’s school play after telling yourself you’d go to the next showing… and the next… and then labor hits and you’re out.

(Thankfully, the principal had mercy and let me sneak into the Monday school showing, but I learned my lesson.)

If there’s something you want to do, do it now. Your on-call self will thank you.

Set Boundaries (And Stick to Them)

One of the quickest ways to burn out as a doula? Always being “available.”

Here’s what I recommend:

• Have office hours. Use them for non-urgent calls, prenatal visits, emails, and check-ins. Tell clients when you’re off too and stick to it. No calls or texts outside office hours unless it’s labor or a true emergency. I actually use Google Voice for my business phone, it goes on Do Not Disturb when I’m not in the office. (Clients under contract have my personal cell number.)

• Protect your evenings. If just three clients text you “just one question” each month for six months, you’re chatting most nights of the week. That’s time you could be spending with your family, not managing group texts.

• Don’t RSVP with “unless someone’s in labor.” It may feel honest or fun at first, but it gets old fast. Friends and family might stop inviting you altogether. You can always quietly adjust if someone is in labor, but don’t lead with it.

Boundaries let you be fully present in birth work and fully present at home.

Talk About Being On-Call With Your Clients

When you set the tone early, your clients will follow your lead.

Here’s how I frame it:

“During your due window, I’m in town and available at a moment’s notice. I also continue living my life, running errands, going to events, spending time with family, but I’m always ready. That’s why I ask you to reach out early if you think it might be labor. That heads-up helps me get to you faster when you’re truly ready for support.”

It builds trust and creates realistic expectations.

Schedule Downtime (Yes, Really)

If you’re always on, you’ll eventually burn out.

Plan your off-call time like it matters, because it does.

• Take 2 to 3 days off every quarter

• Schedule at least two weeks off per year (not necessarily back to back)

• Go somewhere, even if it’s a staycation

• Use a backup you trust, and speak highly of them. Your client is lucky to get their support too

And if you have kids or a partner? Create rituals that make your absence feel special, not stressful. In our house, when I’m at a birth, it’s pizza night. Something fun, not something to be sad about.

I love how Dr. Abby Jorgensen from Haven Bereavement Doulas builds into her fee enough to buy a nice dinner for her family when she returns from a birth, complete with a birthday cake to honor the new baby (celebrated at home, not with the client).

That’s how you blend heart with sustainability.

Don’t Pause Your Life

One of the biggest mistakes I see doulas make, especially early on, is putting their life on hold.

They stop going to the movies.
Cancel on friends.
Turn down invites “just in case.”

Here’s my advice:
Live your life. Take two cars if you need to leave early. Sit near the exit if you’re worried. But go.

If you don’t, resentment builds. So does disconnection. And that doesn’t serve your clients either.

My IKEA Rule

I once wanted to go to a brand-new IKEA, but it was two hours away and my client was 40 weeks.

So I did the responsible thing. I called her to ask if she was comfortable with me going. She not only said yes, she asked me to pick something up for her.

Since then, I’ve set my “IKEA Rule”:
If it’s more than two hours away, I don’t do it while on call.
Simple. Clear. No stress.

You’re Allowed to Rest and Be Ready

Being on-call doesn’t mean being on edge 24/7.
It means being prepared and professional while also being human.

So go to the play. Take the weekend. Set your hours. Use your backup.

And when you do get the call? You’ll be well-rested, fully present, and so ready to walk with that client through birth.

More Support:

• Read the blog: Talking to Clients About Your Backup Doula

• Join Doula Office Hours for real-time mentorship

• Harvard: Shift Work Tips